Did you know that nine out of 10 people feel that talking to loved ones about future health care planning is very important, but only one-third of them have the conversation?1
Talking about future health care and end-of-life needs is not always easy, but it is necessary. Health care providers are not the only ones you should talk to about your wishes; family members need to know, too. Some people think that talking about advanced health care planning is only for those who are older or have chronic health conditions. But the unexpected can happen at any age. Even though talking about these things can be hard, the best time to do it is now.
Sometimes we think that our loved ones know what is important to us or what our wishes are, but often, they don’t. Talking to them will help make these things clear. Here are some steps for starting conversations about advanced health care planning:
- Spend some time thinking about your wishes for end-of-life and emergency care and what values and beliefs you hold dear.
- Decide who you need to talk to and what you want each person to know.
- Choose a place that is comfortable for you to have your talk. This may be in person, over a video call, or via phone.
- Create an environment that will be comfortable for everyone. For example, if you love to bake, you could invite your family over to make cookies and talk while you cook.
Having the discussion may be scary. Here are a few ideas that may make starting the conversation a little easier:
- Look for conversation starters like movies, current events, upcoming doctor visits, etc. For example, if you just read an article about a celebrity that suddenly became ill or passed on unexpectedly, you could use that to begin talking about your future health care wishes.1
- When talking to your loved ones, ask about their values and start to talk about what is important to you. Explain to them what “quality of life” means to you.
- You could start the conversation by saying, “Even though I am doing good now, I would like to be prepared for the future. Can we talk about a few things?,” or “I need your help with a few things, I would like to talk about the future.”
- You could tell your loved ones that you need to feel more prepared for your future by getting your medical wishes in order.
Leave room in the conversation to listen and discuss any fears or concerns you or your loved ones may have about the future. Often it helps your loved ones to know that this topic is important and necessary for you to feel prepared and safe.
It is key to talk about your wishes, but also for you to know the wishes of those you love. As a caregiver or a family member, you can be the one to start these discussions with your loved ones using the same conversation starters listed above.
Communication is such a vital part of all our relationships. Even though breaking the ice and talking about the future may seem scary and hard, these discussions should not be a one-time event. It is critical to keep the lines of communication open and have new conversations if your wishes change.
For more information on advance directives, download the COPD Foundation’s Advance Directives Guide for your personal use.
What has helped you to have difficult but needed conversations with your loved ones? Let’s support each other as we have these hard conversations.
References: 1.UPMC. (n.d.). Advance Care Planning. Https://Www.Upmc.Com. Retrieved March 8, 2022, from https://www.upmc.com/patients-visitors/patient-inf...