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Caregivers

Being a caregiver can be tough so we have made a list of common stresses and solutions. With each of these problems, we have given a course of action that fellow caregivers have had success using. We hope that you will have as much success.

• Partner with Your Patient
  Learn as much as you can about COPD and your role. “As a care-giver, you have all kinds of things thrust on you—oxygen equipment, potty chairs, wheelchairs, and everything else,” says Leanne Davis. “I was a certified nurse’s assistant, and I was still learning all kinds of things as a care-giver for my mom and dad.” Resist the urge to feel flustered and digest new info bit by bit.

• Don’t Take Anger to Heart
  “I didn’t realize the emotional problems involved in caring for my parents at first,” says Davis. “Patients have a hard time giving up control and freedom. They feel helpless, and that can frustrate them.” And sometimes patients snap at care-givers out of anger at their illness. Know such anger for what it is and be aware of its deeper cause—not you, but the illness.

• Ask for Help and Accept it When it’s Offered
  “At first friends and family members would offer to help, and I’d just blow it off,” says Kitty Weary. “Looking back, I should’ve said, ‘Hey, if you’re going to the grocery store, would you pick up a gallon of milk? It’ll save me a trip.’” In time, she made up a list of chores and sent it to family members, asking for help. “It helped to give them a choice,” she says. “In time, someone would say, ‘I have Wednesday afternoon free. Is there something I can do to help?

• Make Offers and Ask for the Go-Ahead
  “Always ask yourself, ‘If you were in your patient’s place, how would you feel?’” warns Davis. “I would always ask my parents if they wanted something first before I gave it to them. For instance, I’d say, ‘Oh, I see you have a dry nose. Would you like some of this?’ Then I’d show them the tube of gel. A gentle approach always works best. More often than not, they’d say, ‘Oh, you think of everything.’”

• Find Private Time
  Practiced care-givers all stress the value of finding stress-free time for yourself, even if only for an hour or two.

• Join a Support Group
  You will find that other care-givers can offer not only daily advice, but can also offer priceless support. You can make contact through COPD support groups for patients. To find one that meets in your area, call the American Institute of Life-Threatening Disease’s referral service (212.777.5581, weekdays, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Eastern Time).

• Attend to Your Health
  “Don’t be so worried about your patient that you neglect your own health,” warns Betty Baareman. “Take good care of yourself, and get check-ups.”

• Get Papers in Order
  Veteran care-givers stress the need to make charts for meds and keeping written records. Do not rely on your memory.